Eliot Sanger - Head of Senior Years, Pastoral
Perhaps you have heard the proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child”? This proverb has African origins, although many know this phrase from Hillary Clinton’s 1996 book of the same name. This maxim emphasises that a child’s upbringing is a communal effort involving many different people and groups, from parents to teachers to neighbours and grandparents. The whole idea underscores the belief that the collective involvement of a community is essential in achieving a certain goal or completing a task, like raising a child. To achieve this goal, the members of the community look out for one another, contribute to the development of the community and serve one another.
Desmond Tutu, the South African Anglican Bishop and Nobel Peace Prize laureate, captured this sentiment when he said, "A person is a person through other persons." His words reflect the idea that our identity and humanity are shaped by the people around us. We are not born fully formed; we grow, learn, and evolve through our interactions with others. From learning to walk and talk to developing empathy and moral values, human connection is vital. Tutu’s words emphasise that none of us are truly self-sufficient. We need community, not just for survival, but to flourish.
At St Andrews Lutheran College, this focus on community is central to everything we do. We believe that the value of ‘we’ before ‘me’ is essential in shaping responsible, compassionate individuals. Just like a family that prioritises collective wellbeing over individual desires, we encourage our students to see beyond themselves and engage with the wider world.
The Concept of Compulsory Family Fun
I wonder if the term ‘Compulsory Family Fun’ is familiar to you? This is a phrase that a friend of mine introduced me to in my teens. This term referred to a mysterious activity that occurred in his family…until I realised it happened in mine too! It referred to a time where family, or community, was given priority over all else. It didn’t matter what you had planned, or were planning, as an individual, if the family called deemed CFF time, you had to be there. This often manifested itself as a family dinner or lunch, time on a weekend or a road trip where all were expected to attend. In my younger years, this was numerous family day trips for picnics or what seemed random locations with questionable interest. In my teen years, these were family activities that I didn’t really want to attend, as hanging out with my friends was far more appealing but I was still required to forego my personal interest. This meant saying no to going to a friend’s house on the weekend or even having dinner at my girlfriend’s house when the relationship was just getting going. Family came first! This caused disagreements over priorities and often impacted on my plans. I couldn’t understand why having to attend another family event was important when I saw these people all the time! The answer was community! Compulsory Family Fun was a very important practical learning that placed community in the centre, not me. It was ‘WE’ before ‘ME’!
Challenges of Modern Society
Today, society imposes unprecedented pressures that often lead individuals to focus inward. With the rise of social media, the decline of traditional family structures, and an increasing emphasis on personal achievement, it’s easy to prioritise self-satisfaction over the greater good. Unfortunately, this shift has fostered a culture of entitlement and self-centredness.
Adolescents, in particular, face a challenging period of self-discovery, during which they try to figure out who they are, where they fit in, and what they believe in. They are bombarded with information, peer pressures, and societal expectations, all while navigating the complexities of growing up. In this environment, it is crucial to offer support that helps them balance personal introspection with the needs of the community.
Teen Introspection and Community Engagement
During adolescence, teenagers naturally engage in deep self-reflection as they form their identities. Factors such as cognitive development, hormonal changes, and peer influences all contribute to this introspection. While this process is essential for personal growth, it is important for teenagers to understand that they are part of a larger community.
At St Andrews, we encourage our students to channel their self-reflection into understanding their role within their community. Whether through service projects, collaborative learning, or community events, students are taught to value the collective over the individual. In this way, we help them develop not only as individuals but as responsible members of society.
Addressing Self-Centred Influences
Teenagers today face many influences that can contribute to self-centredness. Social media promotes an individualistic, image-driven culture, where personal achievements are highlighted over community contributions. Peer pressure, consumer culture, and even certain aspects of the educational system can further reinforce a focus on self-interest.
To counter these influences, we must create environments that promote empathy, collaboration, and social responsibility. At St Andrews, we do this through a service culture in which students are encouraged to actively participate in their community, to help others and work together toward common goals.
Building a ‘WE’ Before ‘ME’ Culture
By fostering a culture that prioritises ‘we’ before ‘me,’ we hope to cultivate a sense of responsibility and empathy in our students. Whether it’s through service projects, group activities, or simply spending time with others, we aim to instil the values of kindness, collaboration, and mutual respect.
When individuals come together for the greater good, everyone benefits. Through this collective effort, we grow stronger as a community and as individuals. By teaching our students the importance of placing community at the centre of their lives, we prepare them to be not just successful individuals, but also compassionate, engaged citizens who understand the value of service to others.
Conclusion
Just as a village raises a child, we believe that our students’ growth and development are supported by their interactions with others. By prioritising community engagement, empathy, and service, we aim to create a culture where students recognise the importance of contributing to something greater than themselves.
In a world that increasingly promotes self-interest, our goal is to cultivate individuals who understand that true fulfillment comes from being part of a supportive, compassionate community. Through this commitment, we hope to shape the leaders and citizens of tomorrow, who will continue to put ‘we’ before ‘me’ in all that they do.
Eliot Sanger
Head of Senior Years, Pastoral
Research
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